Title: Barista 25-- Slip of the Tongue
Season: Season 3
Spoilers: Past and Present (311), Jolinar's Memories (312) and The Devil You Know (313)
Rating:PG-13- Kira says a naughty word and Jack...well, you'll see.
Category: Definitely humor. I think the late nights and diet coke consumption are starting to wreck havoc here.

Author's Notes: In my defense, I just have to say, that Jack's reaction to his little play on words was exactly the same as mine. It was an accident people! I didn't mean to get all er. well.um. Oh, you'll see! Let me just say it was truly an accident in typing and I realized that if I could type it wrong, Jack sure as hell could say it wrong!

The universe is out to get me. That's all there is to it - the universe is just plum out to get me.

First, I find out that I will actually not be graduating this fall as previously planned, then my roommate tells me she is moving back home to save on rent and to top it all off, there seems to be problems with my student visa for Egypt next Spring! And if that wasn't enough, it also appears like my favorite archaeologist is avoiding me! Seriously. Daniel seems to be going out of his way to avoid me and I don't have a clue why.

I continue muttering to myself about the unfairness of the life, the universe and everything as I get the store ready for opening. Till? Check. Cups and condiments stocked? Check. Toilet paper in the bathroom? Check. Time to let the games begin. I unlock the front door and really wish I were back in bed instead of here. Boy! Talk about a girl down in the dumps. I'm so not going to get good tips today. Maybe I shouldn't have taken Rachel's shift?

Right Kira. Like you'd possibly turn down a girl who's Grandfather just died? Right.

Sunday is definitely not my usual workday and I'm not sure what to expect as I open the door wide and let the late autumn sunshine filter in. Sure it's a bit chilly still, but I just want to air the place out a bit before closing the door and jacking up the heat.

I'm nursing a cup of tea when he walks in; the great invisible Daniel Jackson himself. He's looking a little worse for wear (what the hell does he do down in that mountain?!) but generally ok. I might be imagining things, but I think that weird looking bug-bite thing is back as well.


"Hi Daniel." I say. Damn, if I didn't startle the hell out of him. Daniel jerks at the sound of my voice; he really is avoiding me. Obviously he chose to come into the shop on a Sunday, as this is a day I normally wouldn't be here.


"Hey." Daniel replies quickly getting himself under control. He briefly makes eye contact with me before checking out the ever so interesting checkered linoleum floor.

"How are you doing?" I ask nonchalantly tilting my head to the side to try and get a better look at the side of his face. Yep- that bug bite on his temple is back. It's not as red as the last one, but it's definitely there.

"Fine." Daniel replies in a noncommittal voice. Really. Fine, huh?

"Uh huh." I answer back as I go to the espresso machine and pull him a double shot. "How does a tall Americano sound?" I ask.

"Sounds great." Daniel says looking up and catching my eye again briefly before turning back away. We stand in silence for a few seconds before Daniel says something.

"So how's school?" He asks interested yet strangely aloof. It's so weird. It doesn't seem like Daniel's mad at me or anything, but he's definitely uncomfortable around me, and I haven't a clue why.

"Ok." Two can play at this game.

"Sorry I haven't been around to help lately." Daniel begins apologetically.

"Yeah," I say handing Daniel his coffee. "Why is that Daniel?" I don't release the coffee when Daniel grabs hold of it and he looks up with me confusion.


"So you do remember my name?" I joke releasing my hold on the coffee. Daniel looks at me sorrowfully and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. My name is decidedly absent from his lips again. What the hell is going on?

"Daniel?" I ask again touching his arm lightly. "What's going on?"

"Umm." Maybe Daniel would have explained on his own, but neither of us will really know as just then the sound of a voice being cleared was heard behind us. We both whip our heads around to find one amused looking Colonel.

"Daniel." Jack says good-naturedly giving his friend a nod before turning his eyes on me. "And Ki-ra." He gives me a big grin and I swear I saw him wink at Daniel before sauntering over to the register. Well a saunter with a definite limp attached to it. Wait a second! Jack has that same damn bug-bite looking thing that Daniel has.

"Seeing as Danny-boy is already here, I think I'll pick up some coffee for Sam and Murray."

"Jack," Daniel says sighing. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought that would be obvious to a multiple PhD-bearing guy like yourself Daniel."

"Jack." Daniel says again shaking his head. "You followed me, didn't you?"

"Now why would I do that Daniel?" Jack asks all cotton-candy sweet.

"Because." Daniel replied petulantly. Funny how a guy who knows as many languages as Daniel, (I had him pegged so far at 11) could revert back to a 6 year old school kid around Jack. "How's the leg?" He asks trying to change the subject.

Jack glances down at his right leg, "Ah, you know how it goes." Jack said shrugging again. "Dr. Selmak repaired most of the damage, but Janet wants another week of PT." Jack says shrugging. "It looks fine, just feels stiff."

"Dr.Selmak huh?" Daniel said with what looked like a smile.

"Hey, you're the one who.."

"I know, I know." Daniel said holding up his hands to stop whatever it was that Jack was going to say.

"Sam comes back today, right?" Daniel asks.

"Yep." Jack says accepting two lattes that I had just whipped up. "Thanks Kira." Jack says politely. He looks at Daniel. "So what did Ki-ra get you Daniel?" Jack asks eyes all smiling.

"Very funny Jack." Daniel replies looking everywhere but at me.

"Is there something I'm missing here guys?" I ask.


You can guess who said what. I sigh and shake my head. "Daniel, is there something I did to make you angry at me?" I ask trying really hard not to take all of this personally. I can feel my lower lip start to tremble and I damn the pair of them for coming into the shop before I had drunk my required three cups of caffeinated tea. Tears are prickling the edges of my eyes and I suddenly realize I'm going to get my period in a few days. Damn hormones!

"Daniel," Jack chastises at seeing me so upset. "This isn't Kira's fault." He puts down his coffee and comes over and gives me a slight hug. "Daniel is having girl issues Kira." He says giving me a small smile before releasing me.

I sniff. "Is that why you've been avoiding me Daniel?" I ask thinking back to that evening at the bar when he commented about my hair. "Because I remind you of your wife?"

"Sha're?" Daniel says taken back. "You don't remind me of Sha're Kira." His voice softens at the sound of her name and he gets a sad wistful look about him. "You heard about that, huh?"

"I'm really sorry about your wife Daniel." I say. Even if he is acting like a jerk at the moment, I am truly sorry Daniel lost his wife.

"Yeah, me too." He says softly.

"So why have you been avoiding me?"

"Jack?" Daniel asks looking at his friend.

"Don't look at me Daniel." Jack says shaking his head. "You're the peach eater around here..." Suddenly Jack's jaw drops off his hinges as his eyes widen in shock. His face breaks into a huge grin and he starts laughing. Well snorting really.

"Oh God, Daniel, I didn't mean it like that. I have no idea if.."

"Please stop Jack." Daniel says painfully struggling not to smile himself as he shakes his head in disbelief.

"Although, come to think about it, I bet we did have some security cameras down there."

"You are an incredibly crass and vulgar man Jack O'Neill." Daniel says chuckling to himself. "And if any tapes should happen to find their way into the hands of Feretti and his friends, I will personally tell everyone about.." He pauses and gives me a little glance. "Let's just say 421 and leave it at that."

"You wouldn't?!" Jack says aghast.

"Just try me Jack."

I can only stand there and shake my head; they're at it again. Talking weird secret stuff that I don't have a clue as to what it means. Still, it is damn entertaining and it seems to have broken through Daniel's awkwardness around me. I think.

"You ok Daniel?" I ask again.

"Fine, Kira." Daniel says looking at me with apologetic eyes. "Trust Jack to make me see the humor of the situation."

"Always trust Jack, Daniel." Jack calls out from the condiment area.

"Sometimes trust Jack." Daniel replies pulling out a $20 and handing it over to me and telling me to keep the change. They really should stop doing that. I must have 'earned' over $100 in tips from these guys just this year alone!

"Mostly trust Jack." Jack says modifying his earlier statement.

Daniel thinks for a moment and then replies, "Usually trust Jack when a gun is pointed at you."

Jack shakes his head and they're back to square one. "Always trust Jack when a gun is pointed at you."

They're still arguing over trust, guns and now something about snakes..? I close the door behind them and smile to myself. Maybe today won't be such a bad day after all.

More Author's Notes:

I so had fun with this one guys (as if it isn't obvious!) I am still flabbergasted that the name i gave my poor innocent Barista turned out to be 'the destroyer of worlds' and Daniel's one-time lover. I mean, come on- What are the odds?! I swear I hadn't seen this episode before I started writing the series. Poor Kira.

Let me know what you think and maybe I won't have to wait until spring break to post again. Apparently fic writing is an incredibly powerful procrastinating tool..*G*

Oh! I have no idea what Jack did on '421-I just know Jack has probably done all sorts of stupid things off world, and I'm certain Daniel is keeping track. Hey! That's a challenge out there!! Someone write a story that has Jack doing something incredibly stupid off world!!

And finally, if you are curious, the last thing Daniel said to Jack was: "Usually trust Jack when a gun is pointed at you and snakes are in the grass." *G*

Completed January 19, 2004

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