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Title: Barista 36 -- Putt-putt
Author's Notes: Always in search of creative storytelling, I'm doing this Barista a little different (a la 'Eavesdropping). Kira and her unique take on our favorite team will return in the next vignette. Tis another funny one kids. No snorting loudly at work now, ok? :: Jack :: "Jack, quit staring," Daniel says, whacking me with his club. "I'm not staring." "You are staring." "Am not." "Are too." "Not" "Too." "That is enough," Teal'c commands the both of us. Both Daniel and I instantly shut up; we have worked alongside Teal'c far too long not to. Although, he really has lost a bit of his edge- dressed up as he is in plaid golf pants and a starched white polo shirt. Never should have loaned him those PGA tournament tapes after our little impromptu golf game in the gateroom. "Sorry, T'," I reply, muttering an "am not" under my breath. Daniel doesn't look amused; but then again, Daniel hasn't been "amused" with me in nearly a week. This is of course why I dragged SG-1 to this Putt Putt course in the first place. Nothing says team building like miniature golf. I have to admit it wasn't easy getting all of them to come out here. As much as Carter would follow me to the ends of the world (or worlds) as a soldier, she pretty much does whatever she wants off the clock. 'With all due respect Sir..' Yeah, yeah Carter, I get it - you would much rather ride with Hell's Angels than spend time with SG-1 on down time. What she sees in greasy bikes, I'll never know. Teal'c can always be counted on to try something new if he is convinced we aren't just pulling his leg or something. I think we might have done that once too often during his first year on Earth, so now he seldom agrees to do anything offbase without a guarantee from a neutral third party (usually Ferretti) that it'll be fun or interesting. I swear I'm going to get him to a mud-wrestling match yet. And then there's Daniel.. Before I can brood too much about the sorry state of my friendship with Daniel, I spy Carter lurking behind Teal'c. She's trying her best not to show amusement (or maybe annoyance) with Daniel and me. I'd call her on that really poor attempt at hiding her smirk (insubordination, of course) except it's nice to actually see her smile. Hell, I'm just glad she's talking to me again. It was freaky having both Daniel and Sam give me the silent treatment this last week. Not only do I have Daniel upset at me for choosing the Enkarans over the Gadmeer, but Carter is still smarting after being ordered by yours truly to build a naquadah bomb. A naquadah bomb that I purposefully detonated, on a ship that contained one Daniel Jackson. It was not my finest moment. "We really should help her, you know," I say as I sneak another glance in Kira's direction. Carter positions her green ball to play. "Jack, she's on a date!" Daniel says irritated. "A piss-poor one by the looks of it!" I shout back. I know I shouldn't be yelling at Daniel, but I just can't help myself. I've watched Kira struggle valiantly now for twenty minutes (the guy she's "with" keeps wandering off, apparently to chat with other women). If she is supposed to be on a date with that nimrod of a guy, then I'd be doing her a favor by breaking it up. "How do you know that?" Daniel shoots back at me. "Have you asked Kira? Talked with her? Maybe tried to find out a little more about what she's doing?" I open my mouth to reply (although I'm not quite sure what I can say out here in the open), when Carter comes between us. "Sir, it's your turn." Daniel just looks at me expectantly as I stomp off towards the start of Hole 2. I want to stay mad. Mad at Daniel; mad at the jerk of a guy who is ignoring Kira; mad at me - but I can't. At least not at the moment. For standing right smack in front of me is none other than an overly tall and glitzy Glinda the Good Witch. I can't help but break into a grin. Cassie had told me about this place a few weeks ago, and I had been dying to take her (or anyone who'd go with me) ever since. What are the odds that someone out there would open a Wizard of Oz themed miniature golf course? Someone out there (besides Thor) likes me. I position myself in front of Glinda and take a moment to figure out how I'm going to bank my ball off of the dip on the left and past her moving wand and onto the yellow brick road. If the wand catches my ball, it'll shoot it all the way back to the starting point. I have three putts - piece of cake. Four putts later I give Daniel a nod. Damn ruby slippers blocking the way. :: Sam :: Much to the Colonel's dismay, Daniel makes it past Glinda in just two strokes. I write down his score on the card and give Teal'c a nod that it is his turn. I almost feel sorry for the Colonel, but then I think about what he put me though last week. 'Sorry' is not exactly an accurate description as to what I'm feeling at the moment. What the hell was I thinking, building that bomb..? Sometimes, I truly despise the solider I have become. "MajorCarter," Teal'c asks, placing his red ball at the start of hole three and looking quizzically at the painted yellow tiles and the stuffed straw scarecrow. "Didn't you tell me that O'Neill's fascination with the 'Wizard of Oz' was.." He pauses in search of the right word. "Unique?" I will not blush. "What exactly did you tell Teal'c, Carter?" the Colonel asks, doing a freakishly good impression of the Jaffa by raising a solitary eyebrow. Damn. He must have been practicing that one. Probably during all that looping a few weeks ago. "Only that not everyone on Earth has the same appreciation for the film as you, sir." I'm honestly not making fun of the Colonel. Well not maliciously that is. I have never worked with anyone I respect more, but let's face it - Jack O'Neill's fondness for the 1939 classic is a rather peculiar foible. For a straight man. "Carter?" The Colonel looks at me in such a pointed way that I swear he knows exactly what I'm thinking. "Colonel O'Neill's partiality to the film is distinctive, Teal'c." I say finally, smiling a little. "But it isn't so unusual for miniature golf courses to have themes such as this one." "I do not recall 'Tiger Woods' playing golf on a course such as this, or with a stick.." "Club, Teal'c," Colonel O'Neill says absently already distracted by Kira being once again left alone. I have to admit, I'm starting to wonder if we shouldn't rescue her as well. Daniel however is thinking something completely different. He notices the Colonel looking (once again) Kira's way, and becomes noticeably upset. "Jack, would you stop spying on her!" "Daniel, I am not spying." "You are." "I'm.." "Colonel!" I say loudly, interrupting what was certain to be yet another fight of one-liners. Daniel and the Colonel have oscillated between ignoring and yelling at one another ever since we returned from the new Enkaran home world on P5S-381. It doesn't take a rocket scientist (or an astrophysicist) to know why. "I need for you to hold this while I play." I hold out the score card and with a sigh, the Colonel takes it. "Knock yourself out, Dorothy," the Colonel says with a flourish as he steps aside. I really hate when he calls me that. :: Daniel :: I know Jack is trying, but I'm still not sure I'm ready for all of this. This being Jack trying to make amends. Jack being nice. Jack not asking Sam to build a bomb that was going to destroy an innocent race of beings. I absently rub that growing furrow in the center of my forehead and once again shudder with the realization of how close I came to dying. Again. Only this time it would have been Jack who pulled the trigger. I can't help the small shudder that washes over me. "He's trying, Daniel," Sam says, nudging my shoulder as she catches me brooding. "I know." And I do, too. I know Jack. I know that he was doing everything he possibly could to save the Enkarans. I just wish he understood that I was too. :: Teal'c :: I am not certain if O'Neill was correct in bringing us to this place, but I understand his need to "set things right" between himself, MajorCarter and DanielJackson. I do not like seeing my friends at odds with one another. "I'm going to talk with her," O'Neill declares, after striking his ball into the representation of a field of poppies. This game is preposterously frivolous. Maybe it will be I who rescues KiraMeyers. We had barely begun the game when DanielJackson noticed KiraMeyers several "holes" in front of us. She did not appear to be enjoying her game any more than I was. "And tell her what, Jack?" "Well, I could just say 'hi' or something," O'Neill answers. He glares at DanielJackson for a moment, but there is little malice behind his eyes. The two of them are equally uncomfortable and hurt. Perhaps this game will end up being the curative O'Neill hopes. "Oh, I'm sure she'll just love that," DanielJackson answers setting his ball down and hitting it clear past the flowers and into "The Emerald City". Or perhaps not. :: Kira :: I will never go on another double date again. Well, at least not a blind double date. "They seem to be having a nice time," James (my date) says to me as we watch Sylvia giggle once again, as John positions himself behind her to show her the proper stance for hitting a golf ball. Puh-leeze. This is a miniature golf course kids- keep the hanky panky for someplace private, ok? I suppose I should be happy. At least James is actually back to speaking to me again. He vanished completely for two holes, and I later spied him back at the refreshment stand talking with one of the counter workers. Nice to know that my company is so scintillating that the guy prefers to talk to the chick selling ice cream bars. I resist sighing, and just give James a weak smile as I grudgingly walk up to hole 8 and try to hit my ball past the "flying monkeys". This is so incredibly lame! Although, I don't think I would be thinking that if I was actually having a good time. Which I am not. At all. I finish my play (and note that I'm still ahead by two strokes) and motion for Uninteresting Guy (James) to go ahead and putt. Sylvia and John are up ahead in the Wicked Witch's Castle already, starting to play. With one another's lips. I so want to go home. :: Jack :: "That's it!" I shout, picking up my club like it's a hockey stick and slinging it across my shoulder. "I'm going in." Feels kinda weird saying that without the requisite, 'Cover me'. "Jack, would you just leave the girl alone?" Daniel tries one last time. I swear he's only arguing with me to piss me off. After all, he likes Kira every bit as much as I do, and I know he's nearly as protective of her as I am. "Nope." I would think Daniel of all people would recognize when a fellow human being is in date distress. "T', if I'm not back in five, play for me would ya?" I yell over my shoulder as I start towards hole 9. I notice that Kira and her guy have been left alone- if I squint, I think I can make out their companions up at the castle. I'm thinking those two aren't going to be finishing the game anytime soon. Well, at least not the golf game. "Hi Kira!" I say loudly, walking across the yellow brick road and onto hole eight. "Colonel Jack!" Kira cries, as she turns around and gives me a smile that would light up a room. I so made the right call in coming up here. "How are ya doing?" I ask nonchalantly, shooting a look at the idiotic suitor on her left. "Good, good," Kira replies, shaking her head slightly and continuing to grin. Our little Barista is a smart girl; she knows she's being rescued. "Is Daniel with you?" She asks looking around the course. "Yeah," I reply, trying not to let my happy-go-lucky facade slip. "He, Carter and Murray are back a ways," I say, gesturing vaguely behind me. "They're trying to get through the field of poppies without falling asleep." Kira smiles. "Where are my manners?" Kira says suddenly. "Colonel O'Neill, may I introduce James Melton." "Howdy Jim," I say holding out a hand. I might already have determined that the guy shouldn't be allowed to procreate, but that doesn't mean one should be rude. "James," the guy says flatly, shaking my hand with a weak wrist. Well, that just seals the deal. Any guy who can't properly shake hands, doesn't deserve to live. Kidding! Well, sort of. "So," I begin rocking back on my heels and shoving my hands into my Bermuda shorts. "You kids having fun?" :: Kira :: Am I having fun? Is he kidding? Actually, I know he knows that I'm not. The question is, does he have a plan for getting me away from here? "Well, I'm winning..." I begin feebly holding out the scorecard. "Only because that freaky wind pulled your ball into the tin man's oil can," James says quickly, scowling a little. I exhale slowly and count to two-and-a-half before opening my mouth to respond. "So, Kira!" Jack says, grinning as he interrupts me. "Do you think I might be able to steal you away for a little bit? I know Daniel would love to see you." I am certain unadulterated gratitude is written all across my face. "I think that would be all right," I say meeting Jack's eye and mouthing, 'thank you' as I turn back towards Uninteresting Guy. "James, how about if I meet you, John and Sylvia by the concession stand. Say in thirty minutes?" "What about the game?" He whines. "Why don't you go on ahead and play for all of us?" I suggest. "I know you'll be honest with recording the score.." "Oh." James smiles a little with realization. "I guess I can do that." The guy is so going to cheat. "Bye!" I call back giving him a small wave. Good riddance to bad rubbish! "Jack, I think I love you," I say to my rescuer, as I skip down the yellow brick road towards Daniel, Sam and Murray. :: Daniel :: We are just starting hole 6 when Jack returns, leading a very exuberant Kira. Actually, it is Kira who is leading Jack. "I was right, Danny-boy," Jack says gleefully swinging his club like a baton and heading towards Sam to check out the scores. "Right about what?" Kira asks. I'd love to lie and totally make something up, but my heart isn't in it. "Jack thought you needed rescuing," I explain. "Hell, yeah!" Kira replies. She grimaces slightly at her use of swearing and offers me an apologetic shrug. "I wasn't having the best of times." "Which I noticed from 100 yards away, I might add," Jack adds. "Yes Jack, your powers of observation are completely unsurpassed," I reply snidely. The moment the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. Yes, I am still angry with Jack, but that doesn't mean I need to air our "dirty laundry" in public. Maybe Kira won't notice. "Why are you two fighting?" Kira says abruptly, looking between Jack and I. So much for not noticing. Neither Jack nor I say anything, and Kira instantly goes from slightly worried, to full-out concern. "Daniel?" She says, turning towards me. "What did you do to Jack?" Why is she looking at me? Jack's the guy with the trigger finger, not me! I want to tell her that it isn't me she should be accusing, but before I can even begin to think of a non-classified way to explain all of this, Sam comes to our rescue. :: Sam :: "It's classified, Kira," I say solemnly. I can't believe I'm using the 'classified' line yet again. Poor Kira. "Oh come on, Sam!" Kira replies back in frustration. "What's going on with all of you? I've been here less than five minutes and even I can see how you're walking on eggshells around one another. What did Daniel do?" This is one observant young lady - it actually was Daniel who started all of this. Of course it was also Daniel who saved us as well. "I found another way," Daniel starts. "Another way to what?" Kira asks curiously. "Another way to help some.people." People. People - aliens, it's all pretty much the same these days. "At risk to yourself!" The Colonel reminds Daniel. "Jack, contrary to what you might believe, I didn't go up there with the intent of disobeying you.." "Or blowing yourself up?" Uh oh. I need to stop this. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kira paling considerably. "You were the one with his hand on the trigger," Daniel says angrily, pointing a finger at the Colonel. "Guys," I say taking a step towards the arguing men. "And you were the one who wouldn't get off the damn boat!" "Stop it!" I shout. "Please," Kira adds softly. Instantly the guys fall quiet. :: Kira :: Blowing himself up? Daniel nearly died? Again? And what's this about Jack actually pulling the trigger? I feel myself beginning to hyperventilate and look at my friends desperately for an explanation. "Everything's fine, Kira," Daniel says softly, giving me a gentle hug. "Sorry we shouted," Jack adds contritely. Daniel releases me and I look at them both expectantly. "What happened?" Jack sighs and puts his hands back in his pockets. Daniel rubs his forehead. "There was a misunderstanding between two groups of settlers, Kira," Sam explains. "Both had every right to be there, but neither could share the land." "Why?" I ask. "Waaaay too complicated to explain," Jack says with a trace of humor. "Trust us when we say it was complicated." "Ok," I nod. "So, what happened?" Jack's face clouds in memory and Daniel sighs. "We had to try and think of some alternatives for everyone," Daniel explains. "But it wasn't working," the Colonel continues. "And we were running out of time," Sam adds. Murray is staying preternaturally silent in the background. I get the feeling he wants his friends to talk this through without him. The trio is silent for several moments. "In the end, Daniel saved the day," Jack says simply. "Again," Sam adds. "After nearly getting myself killed," Daniel concludes. "Again," all three say simultaneously. I can't help the half laugh/half sob that escapes me. What the hell do these guys do?! Apparently whatever pall that had been hanging over all of them had lifted. Jack roughly pulls Daniel towards him and hugs his friend hard. "You did what you needed to do, Jack." Daniel whispers. "And you did what you needed to do," Jack adds. He sighs, as he releases his friend. "But could we please try and not have them be mutually exclusive next time?" "I'm not planning on there being a next time, Jack." "Ah, but there always is, Space monkey," Jack declares, shaking his head in wry humour. "There always is." :: Jack :: So after Daniel and I had our Hallmark moment, the rest of the game actually ended up being quite fun. Kira helped all of us out on our putting, and in the end Teal'c won by a single stroke. I'm really not one to have emotional outbursts in public (yeah, that's an understatement O'Neill), but this time, I think being in public might have helped Daniel and I. Maybe. Or maybe it had something to do with being surrounded by fake yellow bricks and honkin' large statues from the best movie ever made. More Author's Notes: You're smiling right? I'm going for jaw-splitting smile here. Yeah, the ending was a little cheesy - but I'm cheesy. And so is O'Neill for that matter. Hope you enjoyed. Thanks to Susan for her post-posting edits! Completed December 21, 2004 |